I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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