somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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