I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize