Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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