She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
