Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
