and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
