I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
