they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My dick has a subreddit
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
