I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
