He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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