my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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