I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
