I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You smell like stripper and shame
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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