got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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