Tell her she can't have a vagina
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's just like the Real World with babies
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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