I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
