i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
