That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize