I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
