Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
