Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How external is "for external use only"?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
