do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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