You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
