You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
