Buhtt sex?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
