I hate all girls vehemently.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
