That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
