carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this just has baby written all over it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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