That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
