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True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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