so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize