but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
