Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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