Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
