Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
