you traded sex for a burrito?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
