I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
