Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
