Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Alive.
So much puke
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
