The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
