Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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