Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
