All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
