Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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