We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
