either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
