Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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