I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
