I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
