Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Success! We fucked roommates!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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