So drunk, too bad you don't want this
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize