I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
