U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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