as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize