I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How does it feel to date your dad?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
