hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize