I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
