Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
