nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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