who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
