I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
