Whoa Z and x make the same sound
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
