im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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